Her Loss

If there is one thing I don't want to hear when a relationship doesn't work out as I planned, it's this. It bugs the heck out of me. I mean yeah, sure, whatever, but it hurts! It hurts me. Every time. When people say this phrase, do they really believe it is her loss? Do they see I'm angry and want me to be angry at her instead of myself?

Her Loss


First time I heard this was from my mom. I remember crying on her bed in high school. I don't remember which girl I was crying over, but I was definitely angry. I believe it was a girl I'll name here as Natalie, just to have a name. I had liked her since seventh grade and she was finally noticing that I was interested, and she started to like me, a little. Long story short, she started seeing another guy and said something to the effect of, "I think you're too good, too spiritual, etc... for me." Wow! Why would anyone ever say something like that? I mean, I have thought that about girls I've wanted to date, but I want to date them for that. I wouldn't bring them down to my level, instead I'd work my butt off to reach their level and reach my potential.
So when my mom said this to me, I thought, "Well she is amazing, and it's not her loss it's mine." Now that I think back to it, it was both of our losses, but boy am I sure glad I "lost" her. It was a long time until I heard this statement again.
Now it seems every time I start liking a girl and she denies my courting, I hear this statement (yes Stephanie, if you ever read this, that's usually you). Normally it turns out great for both of us. The girl finds someone else that loves her, and she loves him, and they get married (okay not always, but that's what it seems like :D). I find someone else and get over them. Everyone's happy. Am I really her loss though?
I am a great guy! I try to do my best in everything, and I'm definitely growing. So yeah, it's kind of her loss, but every love/crush seems to take something out of me, making it my loss. It will ultimately be replaced, when I find someone that loves me for me, even with my faults... Hopefully not my faults, but me! As for now, I will continue to try to find someone who will fill in my missing-ness and help me become the man my Father in Heaven plans for and needs me to be.