Don't Mess It Up

This week I got to host one of my friend's brothers in my room. He got to sleep in my bed, don't worry I changed the sheets, and after I assured him that I don't mind sleeping on the floor, in fact I knew I minded less than he did because I may like sleeping on the floor. I don't really know why, I might be crazy, but I've probably done it for at least half the night for half of my life. I think it's because my bed is too hot for me, so I fall to where it is cooler, the floor. I also don't mind sleeping on couches... I may have slept on the coach half of the days I have been in college as well. I guess I just like not sleeping comfortably... I don't know. This has nothing really to do with my title... I don't think. I tried to tie it in, but all I can think of is not messing up my back while sleeping in these uncomfortable places. 

Don't Mess It Up

One of the last texts I got from one of my best friends, Stephanie, is "Don't mess it up." I bet you can't guess what she was talking about. Okay, try thinking about it, yes it is about Cam, and not messing up the relationship I have with her. I seem to mess things up a lot, but Cam has been really amazing at forgiving my shortcomings, she is quite amazing. I'm glad she continues to give me a chance so that I don't mess it up.

Life is super lame right now other than Cam, I have homework up to my eyeballs, and I keep trying to catch up, but I just fall further behind. I don't want to ruin this semester, as of right now, I have a B in my History class, probably a C in Soils, a D+ in my Humanities, an A- in my D&C class, and I am trying to understand what I am supposed to be doing for my senior project, but mostly, I just want this semester to be done, so that I can start my internship, and continue being with Cam as much as time will allow me to, but I better not mess up this semester, I want to graduate this Fall, or next Fall if I become a Hall Advisor. 

As of right now, I know my parents (or at least my dad) might not like this, but I want to be a Hall Advisor. Pretty much, a Hall Advisor is the Resident Assistants' boss. He or she makes sure that the things in his or her hall are running smoothly, and everything is in working order. It would pay for my housing, my food, and for me being a part time student; hence me graduating next Fall maybe. It is kind of my goal to be a Hall Advisor, mostly because I feel like it is what the Lord wants me to do, but it's so hard to know if that is really what it is. It might be because I don't want to graduate yet because I don't want to go out into the work force just yet, but I don't think that is the case here. I may want to just stick around Provo, though I don't really know why. What I honestly believe is that it is where the Lord wants me. 

I understand that I could be making more money somewhere else, if I were to graduate, and if I were to find a job as soon as I graduate, but I believe that will happen in due time, in the Lord's time, and if that is what he wants me to do, I will do it. It is just so hard because I really don't want to mess it up. I get one shot, one chance at this life, I'll mess up a lot, I know I will because I already have, but I want to do the best I can, and follow the plan God has for me. Something that I have learned in messing things up is that everything I choose to do has consequences and I have to suffer them, but God has a plan for me and as long as I try my best he'll guide me, so that I mess things up A LOT less.