I Don't Care

I love my life! I love it! There are very few things I would change about my life because I love the direction it is going. I love living in Provo, though lately I have been having problems with school, I still love being here. The people are amazing, and I love associating with everyone I meet on campus. Like I said, there is only one problem... SCHOOL!! It has become a nuisance. I have 18 credits left after this semester, and if I want to be a hall advisor, which I do, I have to either take classes in the spring or wait til after December to become one. Like I said the problem is school and right now

I Don't Care


about it! I am having troubles staying caught up in a couple of them. I rarely attend my Monday, Wednesday, Friday 9 o'clock History 201 class, I don't want to be up before noon any day of the week because the classes I am taking are so boring, but I have to be there. It makes me wonder how I will be as an employee, I hope I will be a way way way better employee than I am a student. If I'm not then I will probably be fired soon after I am hired. I feel like I'll be fine though. I love working and I do care about providing for a future family, so I'll be fine.

The reason I don't get up early is because lately I have been spending a lot of time with my girlfriend, Camberlea. She is super! I don't ever want to go home at night because I absolute love being with her! She and I have some amazing conversations, and, though she doesn't love it when I am super super goofy around her, I can always be myself and know she'll like me at the end of the day. She genuinely wants me to be happy! I want the same for her of course.

Something that happens a lot while we are deciding what we do, because we are together so often, is we ask each other what we want to do. Both of us will normally say, "I Don't Care, what do you want to do?" Sometimes when people say things like this they don't necessarily want to be around that person, so they say this. This is definitely not the case with us, but we never know what to do. We usually end up cuddling up and watching a movie because we are both so tired all the time from the lack of sleep we get because we are together so often. I don't know why we are together so late into the night, I leave her apartment at midnight, but I linger.

I find myself saying this statement a lot lately though. I feel like I say it whenever she is telling me to do something, but then she feels bad that she told me to do something. I then tell her I don't care that she tells me what to do, I like making her happy, but I do care that she tells me what to do, I care because I care for her, and I care that she is happy. So when I say I don't care I guess I am lying in a sense, but I don't care that she's telling me what to do for the same reasons because I care for her and I care that she is happy so I don't care that she "bosses" me around. She is amazing.

There are times I feel like everyone says I don't care, when they really really care. I am sure I have said it once or twice before, but normally people can tell I do care. Girls in general are really hard to read when they pull this line, I can hardly ever read between the lines to know if they really do care. Please, ladies, if you really do care, don't tell us men that you don't care because we take you at your word, and we will never know if you just said that to make us guess, or if you really me it.

Because I say this so much a lot of people think I am laid back. I am in most things I guess, but I really do care about a lot of things. I care for my friends, family, and pretty much anyone with whom I associate. I care for my life and how it is going. I care for my Heavenly Father, the Savior, the Holy Ghost and the influence they are in my life now. And the one I have cared the most about lately and probably will for a while is Cam, she's absolutely amazing and cares more about people than I do... not to brag about myself, but she is quite aware of others wants and feelings.

So I guess what I am trying to say is care, care for what drives you, care for those that love you, care for yourself, and whoever, whatever, and wherever you want to... I don't care :D.