Poured Out His Whole Soul

I am a horrible blog writer. I know it, you knew it before you read any of my posts, and the world will never know it. I'll never be one of those people that change the world with my blogs. I'll just try and change it in other ways. You'll just have to see how because I still don't really know. Oh and if you want to read about something other relationships, then you should probably look at a different blog...

I was reading in the Book of Mormon this evening, and I was reading of Alma, the older, and his struggles as a new leader to the church. He didn't really know what he was doing. He wanted to do the best he could, but people of the rising generation were already being idiots and wanting to break the rules. They never were baptized, plus they were a driving force in bringing church members into the bonds of sin. So Alma, the leader of the Church,

Poured out his whole soul


to the Lord. The Lord in turn told him he was blessed, and he gave him direction.

Reading this account made me think about times when I have poured out my whole soul to my Father in Heaven. Made me think of times in my life, normally the hardest times, though a few times they may have been the happiest, where all I needed to do, all I wanted to do was pour out my whole soul to my God. Once about a year ago, I had one of these moments. I was trying my best to do what the Lord wanted me to do. I was going to the temple most every week, I was magnifying my calling as the Temple Prep. teacher, I was trying to date a girl, but she was having none of it. It was so frustrating!

I remember one day standing in the Celestial room, wondering if I should even be pursuing this girl, and I got the most distinct witness that it didn't matter. Dating and marriage didn't matter. This was a shock since all I hear about at BYU sometimes is, get married, get married, get married. And sometimes all I hear from some people in my family is, get married, get married, get married. But at that time I felt and knew that I needed to wait, just one more year. One year and it would happen, that I would have no doubt about it, fears yes, doubt no. I would find a woman the Lord had prepared her whole life, to marry me. He also has prepared me my whole life to marry her.

This isn't official yet, I guess, since I haven't proposed yet, but it is as close to official as I can see it. It may be happening even sooner than I've been telling people, too... We'll let you know.

Anyways, both Cam and I have had this experience of pouring out our whole soul's to our Father in Heaven, both in happy times and sad times. When we're doing things right, and when we mess up and sin. We both have our strengths and weaknesses, but something I love about Cam is that she cares so much about other people. She cares about what they need and what they want. She communicates amazingly with me. She talks, and I love listening to her. Sometimes when she has been talking for a while, she stops and says, I've been talking to much, your turn. So I spout out somethings that start her talking again, and I get to sit there and listen to her and her beautiful voice. If I am around her, I get to stare into the most beautiful blue eyes, ever! ... I can't wait for eternity :D

Times in my life where I am pouring out my whole soul to my father have been hard, but I know there will be harder ones to come. I will be pouring out my whole soul for my children and anyone else that falls under my stewardship. Frustrating times, but happy ones are on their way as well, and I am excited for those. Pouring out my soul to my Father in Heaven has been a process during this whole courtship with Cam. There were times where I didn't know what I was doing, where I thought things were going differently than they were going, and there came a time, semi-early in the relationship, where I needed to pour out my soul to my Father, and have him take the reigns of the relationship. I just didn't know what to do, and I am so glad that I have the opportunity to receive help from my Heavenly Father. I love Him, and I love Cam!